The start of school.

This week Jake started Kindergarten. The past month we have been on countdown to that first day. We checked clothing, brought new shoes, purchased school supplies, and practiced getting up earlier. As he got more and more excited, the more melancholy I got for the days of him being 2 or 3...still needing Mom much more than he does now. Remembering how fuzzy the back of his hair was when he woke up from naps. The way he would bend down, hands on knees to examine a bug or spider. That sweet smell of baby shampoo after his bath at night. Now, Jake has short, short hair - better to deal with in the summer heat, and that it "looks cool". Spiders and bugs are gross - robots and dinosaurs are awesome. And the baby shampoo has been traded in for a regular Big Kid wash... Sigh.

The night before, I was in tears. Not because I was worried how HE would do! But how I would do...turning him over to someone else, letting them have influence over him, knowing that he was now spending most of his day with a person that wasn't me. And it hurt. I hoped that I had done a good job getting him ready to start Life. That Matt and I had instilled in him the idea of doing things that pleased Jesus, and not to please others. That even on the really hard days of parenting: that we were able to show him what love looks like...for each other, for others, for God. I wanted to be that fly on the wall as he learned to interact with the other kids. To watch as he figured out how to be a good friend, to have a tough skin, to have a tender heart... And I had to let him go.

That first day was good. He was a bit shy as we all walked across the playground, but as soon as the play area caught his eye, he was off and running. After a bit the kids lined up with their teachers to head in...Jake was already laughing and talking with another boy...I finally caught his eye and waved, and he waved back...jumping and laughing as he headed inside.

We have both learned this week. Jake - about schoolwork, lunches, recess, playtime, sharing and listening. Me - about how to trust that God gave me just the right skills to parent these two kiddos, that its okay to let them go, and that He is holding on to them.

Congratulations sweet boy on starting this new chapter of Life!